Ask the Relevant Questions (Lesson 4)

My parents said that I couldn’t date until I turned 16. Shortly after my 16th birthday my dad and I went out on a "practice date." I remember it very clearly we went to the Cracker Barrel and my dad was going to teach me the things to look for while dating.
So the date with dad begins. I get dressed up and he does too and we are off. He starts the night by opening my car door and the lessons begin. He said if the joker can’t open a car door for you then he ain’t the right one (Lesson 1). As we are driving to the Cracker Barrel my dad said always look at his gas tank some guys try to pull stuff. He should have at least a half tank of gas when you get in the car (Lesson 2). We get to the restaurant and my dad of course opens the door for me and we are seated for dinner. During this dinner my dad and I discuss boundaries and the rules that I would agree to follow as I started on this new milestone of dating. I realized discussing boundaries before the date ever began was important because if you don’t have guidelines then you will do more than you ever wanted to (Lesson 3). As we continued on throughout the conversation my dad told me to Ask the relevant questions (Lesson 4). As the dinner was coming to a close the check comes and my dad takes out his wallet to pay for the dinner. The next thing my dad said is if that joker can’t pay for your dinner that means that he doesn’t have a job (Lesson 5).
As I continued to date throughout my adult life I always remembered this date with my dad. I was that girl that if I was out with guys I would stand at the door until they opened it because my dad taught me that I should be valued and respected. I was also the girl that needed a man that possessed certain qualities. My list was pretty short actually he needed Jesus, a job, and a car. Now of course there were other things that I looked for but those were uncovered by asking the relevant questions (Lesson 4). I am amazed by how many people end up married to people with 5 kids that they didn’t know about and bad credit. Like you didn’t pull his credit report before you said I do. Yes love is important, but so is everything else. I am sure my husband will tell you that I nearly questioned him to death. Shout out to the Scripps investigative journalism class that prepared me for dating! Anyway there weren’t things that were alarming that I found out about him during our first year of marriage. This was all because I asked the relevant questions during our season of dating.
To me dating is a time to explore and to ask everything about a person to make sure that you are making the right decision about marrying them. NOTHING is off limits. If they are uncomfortable about a topic that is a clue aka a RED FLAG! Pay attention to it because it’s not going to change just because you say I DO!
Often times people add sex to a relationship, and that really begins to cloud your judgment during the dating phase of a relationship. Honestly you don’t have time to have sex because there is so much to uncover about a person before you get physically naked with them. When my husband and I first started dating we would talk for hours about any and everything. You must talk, because these talks are laying the foundation for how you will communicate throughout your relationship.
Below is a list of a few of the questions that I asked my husband during our season of dating...
  1. What is your credit score?
  2. How much debt do you have?
  3. Do you want children? If so how many?
  4. How do you feel about women working outside of the home?
  5. Do you expect me to stay at home with our children once they are born?
  6. When was your last relationship?
  7. Why did you break up?
  8. What did you do to heal from your last relationship?
  9. Do you have a passport? If not are you willing to get one?
  10. Have you ever been arrested?
  11. Do you do drugs?
  12. Do you drink? If so how often?
  13. How did you grow up? What was your household like? (Then make sure you visit said household)
  14. How was your parents relationship?
  15. What did you learn from your parents about marriage?
Now I will say don’t come out swinging on the first date asking about credit scores, but after a few dates it’s time to really do some digging! If you want to know more questions to ask leave a comment and I will get back to you!


Thank you dad for teaching me how to be loved by a man and to ask all of the right questions. This walk wouldn't have happened without your guidance. #FatherAndDaughter #WordsOfWisdom #AFathersLove

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