PCOS SUCKS
So I never talk about it, but I have PCOS. It stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Honestly I don't know everything that there is to know about it, but I know that it has had some effects on me and many of my other cysters. Since September is PCOS awareness month I felt that it was finally the right time to share my story.
I first found out that I may have PCOS my freshman year of college I was given birth control pills and not much follow up. This diagnosis was confirmed by a jerk doctor when I was 23. The reason I say this is because dude was rude as heck. I am already anxious when I go to the doctor because last time I went I had a phyllodes breast tumor that ended in two surgeries. that experience at 20 scarred me, so it's challenging for me to even schedule a doctors appointments because of fear. Anyway this doctor wanted to take internal pictures, and that wasn't happening because I was so stressed about the entire procedure. The frustrated doctor said, "fine we will just do an ultrasound." He starts moving the device across my body kind of rough, and he sighs and starts throwing out all these jargon terms, and says, "left ovary PCOS right ovary PCOS." After this traumatic procedure I had questions... what does this mean? Will I be able to have kids? He said, "umm probably not." That is not something that you want to hear at 23. He then tells me this is why I struggle with my weight, and that he would prescribe me 2 medications (Metformin & Spironolactone) and birth control pills to help. Well the medications made me super sick and I stopped taking them after a few weeks, and avoided the doctor for another 2 years until I moved to Michigan.
In Michigan I found the best doctor ever! Up until this point I was never able to go through with a gyno appointment until I met her. She was nice, and she answered all of my questions. As I asked her about fertility she explained to me that she has patients with PCOS that get pregnant all the time. She told me about my options for when the time came. The thing that she explained is that people with PCOS don't ovulate every month, but there are drugs like Clomid that can stimulate ovulation and help with that process. She reassured me that it was nothing to be worried about, and that I should continue to take care of myself.
My two doctor experiences showed me that it is important to have the right people in your life including those on your medical care team.
Last year I really got serious about beating this. I would advise women who struggle with this disease to build up a team of supportive doctors. You need a good gyno. You also need an endocrinologist that specializes in PCOS. Do your research and homework. This team can really work together to help you to begin to feel like yourself again.
For those of you that don't know much about PCOS I want to educate you all on some of the things that I have personally dealt with. My hope is for people that have women in their life that are going through this that it will cause them to be more sensitive to what we are facing.
Weight Gain
I know this is a very sensitive topic for many including me. It's one of my insecurities because weight has always been a struggle for me. I have abused my body in more ways than I want to admit in the name of dropping pounds. I have tried every tea, shake, wrap, diet, and cleanse in an attempt to "lose the weight." As I continue to mature I am realizing that the things that I was doing to my body truly were abusive. The thing that sucks is that people that deal with PCOS can't even look at a carb without gaining weight. its not fair, but it's the reality of our situation. Also because weight gain is a physical manifestation of the disease people judge you and assume that you have just let yourself go. A woman with PCOS can workout and eat healthy and still gain a tremendous amount of weight. I am learning this is because our bodies respond differently to food. As I was preparing for my wedding I was alarmed at the number of women that asked me what I was doing to lose weight for my wedding! As a person that struggles with weight this was like a dagger every time it happened. Don't ever ask people about their weight! You don't know what they are going through and words have the power to damage... moving on.
Breakouts
Cystic acne in your 20's is not cool! However this is one of the side effects of PCOS. With PCOS you not only breakout on your face, but on your chest and back as well. I thought breaking out would end after the teenage years. Unfortunately for me it's still something that I continue to struggle with. I have found that having a good skin care routine and drinking water has done wonders for my complexion.
Pain
I always had crippling cramps I'm talking the type where you can take 800mg Motrin and that barely takes the edge off of the cramps. Then there are migraines that cause you to vomit, and don't get me started on when cysts actually burst that pain is the worst!
Depression
When your body changes dramatically the changes really affect your self-esteem. I always saw myself as a happy person, and then I put on about 40lbs in a matter of months. When I didn't recognize my body anymore and I hated looking at pictures of myself I knew that something wasn't quite right anymore. Add on to that major life changes in a matter of weeks and you have yourself a recipe for depression. I am thankful that I have really good friends in my life that are always there to pray with me. I also think that self-care is important too and making time for me has helped. I am starting to talk about this more with others too. I think part of the reason why depression has the ability to really get to us is because isolation usually follows. I am learning that it is important to share what we are going through. We shouldn't just share our wins, but our losses too. Me opening up to others has caused me to build deeper relationships with my friends and not just surface level friendships. Community is key to strong mental health. I am also pro prayer and therapy because there is nothing wrong with both!
Anxiety
Knowing that PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility can be unnerving. Although we are not ready to start our family yet the unknown of how that process will be for us makes me anxious. Every time someone asks us about kids my chest gets tight one because I can't imagine our life with kids right now and two because what if it doesn't happen for us will people think less of me? I will say this multiple times don't ask people when they plan on having kids you really don't know what that couple has faced. Infertility is real and painful for couples that are going through it. You don't know how many miscarriages a person has had and every time you ask you could be throwing stones at their insecurity. Don't do it!
Other issues
Some of the other issues that can plague a woman with PCOS is hair in places that it shouldn't be for a woman, infertility, diabetes, heart disease, sexual pain and discomfort, and obesity. Many women experience some combination, or in some cases all of these symptoms listed, and several more.
Life is challenging and we all have our own struggles and insecurities that we have to face and deal with. So many times people assume that life is seemingly perfect for everyone except them and that is just not the case. We often don't share those things that bother us the most, but in this season God is showing me that my pain is my platform. I will continue to share with you all the things that this life brings because life is hard sometimes! It doesn't matter who you are if you live long enough there will be struggles.
I know that the better that I take care of my body the more that I can lessen the side effects of PCOS. If you are interested I will be documenting my weight loss journey on my instagram story @4ever_bri. I have been posting meals from our meatless September, and I will continue to post about new meal ideas there! If you have questions or want me to write more about something specific leave a comment!
Thanks for reading!
Bri
I first found out that I may have PCOS my freshman year of college I was given birth control pills and not much follow up. This diagnosis was confirmed by a jerk doctor when I was 23. The reason I say this is because dude was rude as heck. I am already anxious when I go to the doctor because last time I went I had a phyllodes breast tumor that ended in two surgeries. that experience at 20 scarred me, so it's challenging for me to even schedule a doctors appointments because of fear. Anyway this doctor wanted to take internal pictures, and that wasn't happening because I was so stressed about the entire procedure. The frustrated doctor said, "fine we will just do an ultrasound." He starts moving the device across my body kind of rough, and he sighs and starts throwing out all these jargon terms, and says, "left ovary PCOS right ovary PCOS." After this traumatic procedure I had questions... what does this mean? Will I be able to have kids? He said, "umm probably not." That is not something that you want to hear at 23. He then tells me this is why I struggle with my weight, and that he would prescribe me 2 medications (Metformin & Spironolactone) and birth control pills to help. Well the medications made me super sick and I stopped taking them after a few weeks, and avoided the doctor for another 2 years until I moved to Michigan.
In Michigan I found the best doctor ever! Up until this point I was never able to go through with a gyno appointment until I met her. She was nice, and she answered all of my questions. As I asked her about fertility she explained to me that she has patients with PCOS that get pregnant all the time. She told me about my options for when the time came. The thing that she explained is that people with PCOS don't ovulate every month, but there are drugs like Clomid that can stimulate ovulation and help with that process. She reassured me that it was nothing to be worried about, and that I should continue to take care of myself.
My two doctor experiences showed me that it is important to have the right people in your life including those on your medical care team.
Last year I really got serious about beating this. I would advise women who struggle with this disease to build up a team of supportive doctors. You need a good gyno. You also need an endocrinologist that specializes in PCOS. Do your research and homework. This team can really work together to help you to begin to feel like yourself again.
For those of you that don't know much about PCOS I want to educate you all on some of the things that I have personally dealt with. My hope is for people that have women in their life that are going through this that it will cause them to be more sensitive to what we are facing.
Weight Gain
I know this is a very sensitive topic for many including me. It's one of my insecurities because weight has always been a struggle for me. I have abused my body in more ways than I want to admit in the name of dropping pounds. I have tried every tea, shake, wrap, diet, and cleanse in an attempt to "lose the weight." As I continue to mature I am realizing that the things that I was doing to my body truly were abusive. The thing that sucks is that people that deal with PCOS can't even look at a carb without gaining weight. its not fair, but it's the reality of our situation. Also because weight gain is a physical manifestation of the disease people judge you and assume that you have just let yourself go. A woman with PCOS can workout and eat healthy and still gain a tremendous amount of weight. I am learning this is because our bodies respond differently to food. As I was preparing for my wedding I was alarmed at the number of women that asked me what I was doing to lose weight for my wedding! As a person that struggles with weight this was like a dagger every time it happened. Don't ever ask people about their weight! You don't know what they are going through and words have the power to damage... moving on.
Breakouts
Cystic acne in your 20's is not cool! However this is one of the side effects of PCOS. With PCOS you not only breakout on your face, but on your chest and back as well. I thought breaking out would end after the teenage years. Unfortunately for me it's still something that I continue to struggle with. I have found that having a good skin care routine and drinking water has done wonders for my complexion.
Pain
I always had crippling cramps I'm talking the type where you can take 800mg Motrin and that barely takes the edge off of the cramps. Then there are migraines that cause you to vomit, and don't get me started on when cysts actually burst that pain is the worst!
Depression
When your body changes dramatically the changes really affect your self-esteem. I always saw myself as a happy person, and then I put on about 40lbs in a matter of months. When I didn't recognize my body anymore and I hated looking at pictures of myself I knew that something wasn't quite right anymore. Add on to that major life changes in a matter of weeks and you have yourself a recipe for depression. I am thankful that I have really good friends in my life that are always there to pray with me. I also think that self-care is important too and making time for me has helped. I am starting to talk about this more with others too. I think part of the reason why depression has the ability to really get to us is because isolation usually follows. I am learning that it is important to share what we are going through. We shouldn't just share our wins, but our losses too. Me opening up to others has caused me to build deeper relationships with my friends and not just surface level friendships. Community is key to strong mental health. I am also pro prayer and therapy because there is nothing wrong with both!
Anxiety
Knowing that PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility can be unnerving. Although we are not ready to start our family yet the unknown of how that process will be for us makes me anxious. Every time someone asks us about kids my chest gets tight one because I can't imagine our life with kids right now and two because what if it doesn't happen for us will people think less of me? I will say this multiple times don't ask people when they plan on having kids you really don't know what that couple has faced. Infertility is real and painful for couples that are going through it. You don't know how many miscarriages a person has had and every time you ask you could be throwing stones at their insecurity. Don't do it!
Other issues
Some of the other issues that can plague a woman with PCOS is hair in places that it shouldn't be for a woman, infertility, diabetes, heart disease, sexual pain and discomfort, and obesity. Many women experience some combination, or in some cases all of these symptoms listed, and several more.
Life is challenging and we all have our own struggles and insecurities that we have to face and deal with. So many times people assume that life is seemingly perfect for everyone except them and that is just not the case. We often don't share those things that bother us the most, but in this season God is showing me that my pain is my platform. I will continue to share with you all the things that this life brings because life is hard sometimes! It doesn't matter who you are if you live long enough there will be struggles.
I know that the better that I take care of my body the more that I can lessen the side effects of PCOS. If you are interested I will be documenting my weight loss journey on my instagram story @4ever_bri. I have been posting meals from our meatless September, and I will continue to post about new meal ideas there! If you have questions or want me to write more about something specific leave a comment!
Thanks for reading!
Bri
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