#BlackLivesMatter
My heart is so heavy as I write this post. The recent events are a glaring reminder that my safety or the safety of my family and friends is constantly at risk. My life as a black woman does not matter. This is something that is always in the back of my mind, but every time something happens its just another reminder. I don't want to just become another hashtag!
To the All Lives Matter People. Here are some things that I want you to think about.
Have you ever feared for your life when you got pulled over for a minor traffic infraction? I have! I remember one night I was driving my new car around town and I was going a few miles over the speed limit the officers first question was is this your car? As I got the ticket I remember shaking uncontrollably because I was so scared they even called for backup! So there were multiple police surrounding me for a $125 speeding ticket!
Have you ever gone to the hospital and been concerned about the care that you were getting? I have! My husband came out of surgery and something clearly went wrong. There was blood all over his pillow, and I remember asking for a chest x-ray for him. Do you know what the doctor told me? That's not necessary all that is going to do is run your bill up... He's fine. He was actually not fine and the chest x-ray that I demanded revealed that he was basically drowning because of the fluid in his lungs. He stayed in the hospital for 5 days. If I wasn't a fighter they would have sent him home to die. The sad part is we have really good insurance. People started treating us better when they found out that we live in the "nice" part of town.
Have you ever been followed in a store because people assume you are stealing when you are just looking? I have! On multiple occasions, but one story stands out. It was after Christmas and my sister and I had our Christmas money ready to spend. The store associate asked us if we needed help finding anything. She came back multiple times in a short span of time, and each time we reminded her that we were just looking. We left the store when she asked us what we were specifically looking for. I opened my wallet and showed her I have money and didn't plan on stealing or buying anything for that matter from the store.
Have you ever feared that your loved one wouldn't come home at night? I have! Every morning I always tell my husband when he leaves to be safe. Why? Because I fear for his life daily. I am afraid for him to go on runs. I track his location while he is running, and if his dot stops moving my heart sinks and I call. I call because I am scared that that pause isn't for water, but instead his last pause because his life was taken.
Have you ever been told that a town will not be safe for you once nightfall hits? I have! My first job out of college I was a sales rep and out in the middle of Pennsylvania. I remember the store manager at one of my accounts telling me I needed to leave before nightfall because it was not going to be safe for a person like me in the area. I remember sharing this story with some of my other black colleagues in sales and they too had similar experiences in their territories.
When you talk about your future children do you talk about how you will keep them alive and safe from the police? I do! I have had multiple conversations with my husband about what age we will start to teach our future kids that life will be different for them because of their skin color. We also share our stories of when our parents had this same talk with us. For many people of color bringing children into the world has many fears. We even talk through what our birth plan will be for me because black women are dying at alarming rates while delivering their babies. Why are black women dying so much having babies? Because the medical staff doesn't take our pain as black women seriously.
These are just a handful of my stories, and I have plenty more if you want to sit down and talk. I also know other people of color have stories too!
My challenge to you is to do SOMETHING! Be curious! Ask questions, and do some research. Commit to understanding before jumping to conclusions. Be open-minded especially if you answered no to any of the above questions.
Use your privilege and your platform to speak out against the injustice that you see.
Raise your kids to be better humans by exposing them to different races in the people that they play with, their toys, and through books.
Support black owned businesses!
I am not expecting everyone to go on a crusade to save the world, but you can do something! At the bottom of this post you will find a few links with some ways to show your support.
Black Lives Matter because those are the lives that are being taken for no reason at all. I read something that said you wouldn't say all cuts matter to someone who has a cut and is bleeding. You also wouldn't give out band-aides to everyone who is not bleeding and skip the person bleeding because all cuts matter.
I just want you to understand that when you say All Lives Matter it cuts deep! It cuts deep because you discount the black experience and our fear for our lives during this time!
Resources
Sign a Petition for Breonna Taylor
Sign a Petition for George Floyd
Read the book White Fragility: Why it's so hard for white people to talk about racism
Buy the kids in your life black dolls- https://prettybrowngirl.com/
To the All Lives Matter People. Here are some things that I want you to think about.
Have you ever feared for your life when you got pulled over for a minor traffic infraction? I have! I remember one night I was driving my new car around town and I was going a few miles over the speed limit the officers first question was is this your car? As I got the ticket I remember shaking uncontrollably because I was so scared they even called for backup! So there were multiple police surrounding me for a $125 speeding ticket!
Have you ever gone to the hospital and been concerned about the care that you were getting? I have! My husband came out of surgery and something clearly went wrong. There was blood all over his pillow, and I remember asking for a chest x-ray for him. Do you know what the doctor told me? That's not necessary all that is going to do is run your bill up... He's fine. He was actually not fine and the chest x-ray that I demanded revealed that he was basically drowning because of the fluid in his lungs. He stayed in the hospital for 5 days. If I wasn't a fighter they would have sent him home to die. The sad part is we have really good insurance. People started treating us better when they found out that we live in the "nice" part of town.
Have you ever been followed in a store because people assume you are stealing when you are just looking? I have! On multiple occasions, but one story stands out. It was after Christmas and my sister and I had our Christmas money ready to spend. The store associate asked us if we needed help finding anything. She came back multiple times in a short span of time, and each time we reminded her that we were just looking. We left the store when she asked us what we were specifically looking for. I opened my wallet and showed her I have money and didn't plan on stealing or buying anything for that matter from the store.
Have you ever feared that your loved one wouldn't come home at night? I have! Every morning I always tell my husband when he leaves to be safe. Why? Because I fear for his life daily. I am afraid for him to go on runs. I track his location while he is running, and if his dot stops moving my heart sinks and I call. I call because I am scared that that pause isn't for water, but instead his last pause because his life was taken.
Have you ever been told that a town will not be safe for you once nightfall hits? I have! My first job out of college I was a sales rep and out in the middle of Pennsylvania. I remember the store manager at one of my accounts telling me I needed to leave before nightfall because it was not going to be safe for a person like me in the area. I remember sharing this story with some of my other black colleagues in sales and they too had similar experiences in their territories.
When you talk about your future children do you talk about how you will keep them alive and safe from the police? I do! I have had multiple conversations with my husband about what age we will start to teach our future kids that life will be different for them because of their skin color. We also share our stories of when our parents had this same talk with us. For many people of color bringing children into the world has many fears. We even talk through what our birth plan will be for me because black women are dying at alarming rates while delivering their babies. Why are black women dying so much having babies? Because the medical staff doesn't take our pain as black women seriously.
These are just a handful of my stories, and I have plenty more if you want to sit down and talk. I also know other people of color have stories too!
My challenge to you is to do SOMETHING! Be curious! Ask questions, and do some research. Commit to understanding before jumping to conclusions. Be open-minded especially if you answered no to any of the above questions.
Use your privilege and your platform to speak out against the injustice that you see.
Raise your kids to be better humans by exposing them to different races in the people that they play with, their toys, and through books.
Support black owned businesses!
I am not expecting everyone to go on a crusade to save the world, but you can do something! At the bottom of this post you will find a few links with some ways to show your support.
Black Lives Matter because those are the lives that are being taken for no reason at all. I read something that said you wouldn't say all cuts matter to someone who has a cut and is bleeding. You also wouldn't give out band-aides to everyone who is not bleeding and skip the person bleeding because all cuts matter.
I just want you to understand that when you say All Lives Matter it cuts deep! It cuts deep because you discount the black experience and our fear for our lives during this time!
Resources
Sign a Petition for Breonna Taylor
Sign a Petition for George Floyd
Read the book White Fragility: Why it's so hard for white people to talk about racism
Buy the kids in your life black dolls- https://prettybrowngirl.com/
thanks for sharing Briana! It makes it that much more real when you can learn the real life experiences that your friends are going through. I am about to dive into the White Fragility. You have my support now and always!
ReplyDelete-Madelyn Roberts
DeleteThank you so much for reading and diving in :-)
Delete