We Found A Mass...
Since I heard the words we found a mass on your right breast last Sunday I have been trying to process how I feel. When you hear the doctor tell you something like that it literally feels like a movie the doctor kept talking, and I didn't hear much else. I finally responded and I don't know what I told him. As soon as he left I was numb... Why me? Why is this happening again? It's not fair! Then I thought about a sermon I believe my dad preached it actually Trusted with Trouble was the title. He talked about the story of Job, and how God allowed all of these things to come into his life that seemed completely unfair, but he gave him double for his trouble.
After I found out the news I looked over to Eddie and he said well at least we found it... What if we didn't come to the hospital today. The thing is that we came to the hospital for something completely unrelated. I told them I didn't have time to run all of the test that they wanted to run because I had to catch a flight in the morning for work. With this information in mind they just did a CT scan to see what was causing my chest pain. Since they decided to do the scan that is how they found the mass.
I called my family in tears and told them what was going on. We went through this already in 2010 when I found the first one. As I began to cry they began to pray. We called my in-loves, my sister, and sent some texts to a few friends, and they too began praying.
This time I made the decision that I wasn't going to go through this alone. When I had this happen before only my immediate family knew until it was all over. I didn't want to burden people, and I thought that I could handle it all on my own. I guess that's a pride thing, and clearly God is trying to work on me in this area. This time I decided to let my friends know. I sent out messages for them to pray. I called friends crying and they prayed. One of the things I was surprised to hear most is thank you for letting us know! Thank you?... I guess friends really do want to be a part of the journey of life with you. I had a group of my sisters praying for me as I went into Doctors appointments this week. They even scheduled a prayer call just for me this evening. I have even been able to see my husband in a new capacity. As I sat quietly throughout this week just afraid and anxious for what is next he began to truly act out Ephesians 5:26 and wash me with water by the the word. He began to quote scriptures God hasn't given us a spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind 2 Timothy 1:7. As he spoke I felt uplifted and encouraged and also blessed to have him!
As I think about the last few days what should be the worst time ever has been a time for God to show me just how much people care for me. As I brought people into the process their words of encouragement really let me know that I have a tribe of people that are surrounding me and there for me. So many times we try to tackle life by ourselves and we were not meant to do that. I would encourage people that are going through things to bring your friends and family into your journey so that you don't have to carry life's burdens alone. I was also amazed at the resources that people had for this same issue. So many women that I shared this with had also been through something similar or knew of someone that had that had things to help me!
Remember how I told you all that I had a group of my sisters praying for me while I was getting ready to go into the Doctor. Thank God for their prayers! Let's talk about this experience... I want to share this because I think stuff like this happens far to often to people.
So I went to see a surgeon because last time this happened to me I went to see one, and I was able to get my biopsy done that day to determine if surgery was even necessary, plus they were able to do an ultrasounds and get all of the pictures that they needed. In my mind the process would be similar this time around... NOPE! So this doctor does his examination and looks at the CT scan images and says he can't determine what is there. He does an examination and finds the mass. He then tells me that I need to get a mammogram. I'm thinking ok cool let's go ahead and do that now. He then tells me he doesn't do mammograms... What? Ok where do I go? He tells me across the street to radiology. At this point I am so frustrated because why do I have to go multiple places I am no closer to knowing what is happening with my body. So they give me a number to call to get the mammogram. I call and ask the lady to please help me she tells me to just go into the office. I go in and lose it. I am crying and clearly in distress. A lady comes over and hugs me and asks what's going on. I don't think I really told her much I handed her the order for the mammogram and she takes me to where I need to be. Thank God for the prayers of my sisters because that lady was truly an angel! While there I find out that they don't have any emergency appointments for today, but they can take me Saturday at noon... That wasn't going to work because I bought tickets to the Ohio State Game for my husbands birthday 4 months ago, and I refused to let this situation take over our lives. We then found that the next available appointment was Wednesday. I signed up for that and went back across the street to the surgeon.
Here is where the story get's interesting. As I am explaining to the surgeon when I am getting my mammogram he is getting frustrated with me, but says OK you will have to hand deliver the results so that I can see them before the biopsy on the following Monday. I said OK that sounds like a plan. Then he takes me back into a room and begins to go over the paperwork for the "biopsy." As he begins showing me the paperwork it says that I can't eat anything after midnight the night before the procedure. WAIT A MINUTE! I tell him I have had a biopsy before and I didn't have to do all of that he then explains that he doesn't do biopsy's and that he is going to cut out the mass and then test it! What? I said well how do you know it's even in there and what you are feeling isn't scar tissue he said we don't, but we will cut you open and determine what's going on... Ummm no you won't! I remember after I told one of my co-workers what was going on she told me get multiple opinions and don't let them cut your breast up. She was right. This guy was money hungry. I asked him for the paperwork that he was showing me and told him I wasn't prepared to have a surgery because I know the recovery time for that is two weeks. He told me nonsense! In my mind I'm like dude I have had this surgery before, so your can't bamboozle me into it! Anyway the surgeon snatches the papers out of my hands and says no you can't have them you are clearly not prepared to have surgery! We go back and forth about me taking the paperwork and I finally leave the room but slowly. I heard the holy spirit say walk slower, which wasn't a problem because I was wearing heels in an attempt to look better than I felt. Anyway as I am exiting I hear him yell at his assistant. That she needs to do a better job of vetting patients and that he just wasted an hour of his time on another person that doesn't want to have surgery! Wow thank you Lord for allowing me to hear that because he will not be cutting me!
I wanted people to know from my experience to know your rights as a patient. Do your research so you know what to expect. Trust your instincts if something feels off it probably is. You don't have to do what the doctor says. If you are uncomfortable with something don't do it! At the end of the day this is also their business and not all doctors care about their patients. Also you know your body. Get multiple opinions before making your final decisions.
I am so thankful that I had this experience so that I could share it with others. I am also thankful that people were praying for me. I know that the power of prayer is what helped me to be hyper aware of what was happening. I also know that throughout this week I have had so much peace and excitement about how God is going to work it all out. I am thankful for my tribe and the people that God has strategically placed in my life for this season!
(I posted this picture yesterday... sometimes you don't know the pain behind the smile or what people are really going through. My goal is to share the good and the bad because life is not always easy or perfect)
After I found out the news I looked over to Eddie and he said well at least we found it... What if we didn't come to the hospital today. The thing is that we came to the hospital for something completely unrelated. I told them I didn't have time to run all of the test that they wanted to run because I had to catch a flight in the morning for work. With this information in mind they just did a CT scan to see what was causing my chest pain. Since they decided to do the scan that is how they found the mass.
I called my family in tears and told them what was going on. We went through this already in 2010 when I found the first one. As I began to cry they began to pray. We called my in-loves, my sister, and sent some texts to a few friends, and they too began praying.
This time I made the decision that I wasn't going to go through this alone. When I had this happen before only my immediate family knew until it was all over. I didn't want to burden people, and I thought that I could handle it all on my own. I guess that's a pride thing, and clearly God is trying to work on me in this area. This time I decided to let my friends know. I sent out messages for them to pray. I called friends crying and they prayed. One of the things I was surprised to hear most is thank you for letting us know! Thank you?... I guess friends really do want to be a part of the journey of life with you. I had a group of my sisters praying for me as I went into Doctors appointments this week. They even scheduled a prayer call just for me this evening. I have even been able to see my husband in a new capacity. As I sat quietly throughout this week just afraid and anxious for what is next he began to truly act out Ephesians 5:26 and wash me with water by the the word. He began to quote scriptures God hasn't given us a spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind 2 Timothy 1:7. As he spoke I felt uplifted and encouraged and also blessed to have him!
As I think about the last few days what should be the worst time ever has been a time for God to show me just how much people care for me. As I brought people into the process their words of encouragement really let me know that I have a tribe of people that are surrounding me and there for me. So many times we try to tackle life by ourselves and we were not meant to do that. I would encourage people that are going through things to bring your friends and family into your journey so that you don't have to carry life's burdens alone. I was also amazed at the resources that people had for this same issue. So many women that I shared this with had also been through something similar or knew of someone that had that had things to help me!
Remember how I told you all that I had a group of my sisters praying for me while I was getting ready to go into the Doctor. Thank God for their prayers! Let's talk about this experience... I want to share this because I think stuff like this happens far to often to people.
So I went to see a surgeon because last time this happened to me I went to see one, and I was able to get my biopsy done that day to determine if surgery was even necessary, plus they were able to do an ultrasounds and get all of the pictures that they needed. In my mind the process would be similar this time around... NOPE! So this doctor does his examination and looks at the CT scan images and says he can't determine what is there. He does an examination and finds the mass. He then tells me that I need to get a mammogram. I'm thinking ok cool let's go ahead and do that now. He then tells me he doesn't do mammograms... What? Ok where do I go? He tells me across the street to radiology. At this point I am so frustrated because why do I have to go multiple places I am no closer to knowing what is happening with my body. So they give me a number to call to get the mammogram. I call and ask the lady to please help me she tells me to just go into the office. I go in and lose it. I am crying and clearly in distress. A lady comes over and hugs me and asks what's going on. I don't think I really told her much I handed her the order for the mammogram and she takes me to where I need to be. Thank God for the prayers of my sisters because that lady was truly an angel! While there I find out that they don't have any emergency appointments for today, but they can take me Saturday at noon... That wasn't going to work because I bought tickets to the Ohio State Game for my husbands birthday 4 months ago, and I refused to let this situation take over our lives. We then found that the next available appointment was Wednesday. I signed up for that and went back across the street to the surgeon.
Here is where the story get's interesting. As I am explaining to the surgeon when I am getting my mammogram he is getting frustrated with me, but says OK you will have to hand deliver the results so that I can see them before the biopsy on the following Monday. I said OK that sounds like a plan. Then he takes me back into a room and begins to go over the paperwork for the "biopsy." As he begins showing me the paperwork it says that I can't eat anything after midnight the night before the procedure. WAIT A MINUTE! I tell him I have had a biopsy before and I didn't have to do all of that he then explains that he doesn't do biopsy's and that he is going to cut out the mass and then test it! What? I said well how do you know it's even in there and what you are feeling isn't scar tissue he said we don't, but we will cut you open and determine what's going on... Ummm no you won't! I remember after I told one of my co-workers what was going on she told me get multiple opinions and don't let them cut your breast up. She was right. This guy was money hungry. I asked him for the paperwork that he was showing me and told him I wasn't prepared to have a surgery because I know the recovery time for that is two weeks. He told me nonsense! In my mind I'm like dude I have had this surgery before, so your can't bamboozle me into it! Anyway the surgeon snatches the papers out of my hands and says no you can't have them you are clearly not prepared to have surgery! We go back and forth about me taking the paperwork and I finally leave the room but slowly. I heard the holy spirit say walk slower, which wasn't a problem because I was wearing heels in an attempt to look better than I felt. Anyway as I am exiting I hear him yell at his assistant. That she needs to do a better job of vetting patients and that he just wasted an hour of his time on another person that doesn't want to have surgery! Wow thank you Lord for allowing me to hear that because he will not be cutting me!
I wanted people to know from my experience to know your rights as a patient. Do your research so you know what to expect. Trust your instincts if something feels off it probably is. You don't have to do what the doctor says. If you are uncomfortable with something don't do it! At the end of the day this is also their business and not all doctors care about their patients. Also you know your body. Get multiple opinions before making your final decisions.
I am so thankful that I had this experience so that I could share it with others. I am also thankful that people were praying for me. I know that the power of prayer is what helped me to be hyper aware of what was happening. I also know that throughout this week I have had so much peace and excitement about how God is going to work it all out. I am thankful for my tribe and the people that God has strategically placed in my life for this season!
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